this is hilarious by the way…

subtitle: how not to plan your girlfriend’s birthday

a guy walks into madame x around 1:00 a.m. overly dressed up with his overly dressed up girlfriend behind him. the dj booth is right next to the door. he’s hardly inside the door and she’s standing half in the stairway.

him: hey it’s her birthday – can you play “break your heart”?
me: by who?
him: (some name i don’t recognize)
me: i don’t have that
him: uh, alejandro?
me: what?
him: uh, i’m trying to think of something she likes – can you play something romantic-ish?
me: …romantic…ish?
him: uh…. (they walk out)

DJ OBaH brings his Recycled Funk to the Main Ingredient this week! Tune in – every Monday Night / Tuesday Morning at midnight.

About DJ OBaH:

DJ OBaH turned a family legacy into a profession, becoming a rising industry music producer and highly sought after NYC DJ. OBaH stands for OldskoolBeatsAndHarmonies for a very good reason… the son of veteran NYC DJ/Record Dealer, Baba Chico, DJ OBaH had the world’s best funk, jazz & soul records at his fingertips. Armed with his father’s epic record collection, OBaH quickly made his mark on the NYC club scene, becoming the resident DJ at several nightclubs in his native Brooklyn.

Quickly gaining respect and a solid fan base, his first big break came courtesy of world-renowned DJ, Rich Medina, who invited OBaH to spin at his weekly party at APT in the meatpacking district of NYC. Since then, OBaH has spun in well over 50 venues in NYC, across the U.S. and Europe and has DJ’d private parties for Alicia Keys, Lenny Kravitz, Donna Karan and many other A-list celebrities. His talents have also been commissioned by such companies as Louis Vuitton, Vogue magazine, DKNY Jeans, Yahoo, Getty Images. Live performances by hip hop legends Krs-one, Brand Nubian and an impressive list of international bands and DJ’s.

DJ OBaH continues to spin on a weekly basis, produce remixes as well as original compositions for television and film. His tracks have been featured on networks such as Mtv, Bravo, HBO. He can also be heard on the Giant Step jukebox radio, as host of his own show, Recycled Funk. OBaH is also employed as a DJ instuctor at Dubspot, school for dj and music production located in NYC. He takes his “formative education” with him wherever he goes (thanks dad).

from a unnamed upscale establishment:

her: how long are you djing until?
me: 1:00
her: what time is it now?
me: 12:12
her: (standing saying nothing)
me: (saying nothing)
(time passing)
me: …because you…like the music?
her: well, yes…but…you’re holding back a little, no?
me: uh, what?
her: you’re holding back a little…
me: well, it’s wednesday night…not so crowded, seems about right to me
her: well, i’m here with a bunch of suits and i need them to loosen up a little bit
me: so…you want commercial party jams?
her: commercial?! no…
me: so…
her: well, you know…i need them to come out of their shell a little…
me: i don’t know…
her: (cutting me off) you know EXACTLY what i’m talking about
me: i guess i know what you’re talking about but the only thing i’ve ever seen loosen up some quote unquote stiff people is commercial party jams
her: no, not commercial but…
me: …like what?
her: (pause) wow, i feel like there’s a lot of pressure on me now
me: there’s no pressure here
her: well, i was putting the pressure on you, but now i feel like it’s on me
me: i didn’t feel it…
her: (suddenly walks away)
me: …the pressure that is (she didn’t hear me)

DJ Reborn (Dubspot, Ubiquita) will stop by to play a guest set on the Main Ingredient this week.
Tune in – every Monday Night / Tuesday Morning at midnight.

From her bio (wow):

DJ Reborn has been pleasing crowds across the country and abroad for over a decade with her mellifluous blend of Soul, Hip-hop, Reggae, House, Latin, Afro-beat, Electro, Classics, Rock and more.

This Chicago native now resides in New York and not only spins at clubs and parties but also at museums, (The Studio Museum of Harlem, The Whitney Museum, The Bronx Museum, The Cooper-Hewitt Design Museum) as well as live shows (The Roots, Common, Talib Kweli, India Arie, John Legend, Alice Smith and Goapele) She has also spun private parties for Music artists as diverse as Metallica, Maxwell and Lauryn Hill as well as visual artists like Kara Walker and Wangheci Mutu.

Reborn is also a mentor/workshop facilitator for NYC teens. She has crafted a workshop specifically for teen girls that explores djing, creative writing and women’s images in music/media culture.

Since 2002, DJ Reborn worked as musical director and live on stage DJ with renowned actor/playwright Will Power on the off Broadway Hip Hop theater hit show FLOW. She partnered with Will Power again in 2007 as the musical director/sound designer for his original children’s theater production LITTLE HONEY BO. Reborn was the 2004/05 international tour DJ with Russell Simmons DEF POETRY JAM and she has made four appearances on BET’s Rap City. She has been featured in TRACE, NRG, URB, SCRATCH, NEW YORK MOVES, LUIRE and DJ TIMES magazines.

In 2007 DJ Reborn graced the cover of New York’s venerable VILLAGE VOICE paper and by the end of that year she was ecstatic to DJ for one of the SEX AND THE CITY PT.1 feature film parties. In 2009 Reborn was the featured DJ on HBO’s BRAVE NEW VOICES hosted by Idris Alba.

Her ability, experience and unique perspective have primed this pioneering DJ to participate in seminal panels, conferences and lead lecture/demonstrations. Some of these include: The Ethnic Pen Conference, The Ms.Foundation conference panel hosted by NYU, University of Wisconsin Hip-Hop/Poetry conference, Pace University panel on Hip-Hop and lecture/demonstrations at both Trinity and Sarah Lawrence College.

For the last three years Reborn has been a DJ instructor at Dubspot in New York. Dubspot is New York’s premier DJing and music production school.

i have a few of these i need to get up, don’t remember exactly where this was, madame x I think:

her: do you have “Ignition Remix”? by R. Kelly?
me: no
her: do you have (insert plausible song title #2) by R. Kelly?
me: no
her: do you have (insert plausible song title #3) by R. Kelly?
me: no
her: do you have “I Pissed on a Child” by R. Kelly?
me: what? is that a real song?
her: (completely straight faced) yes.
me: (making a crazy face i’m sure, almost believing her)
her: (walking away without remotely smiling or laughing)
me: (googling it on my phone…she got me good)