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how not to request a song - part 6

i was starting to think that word of my “how not to request a song” series was getting around and that people stopped belligerently requesting songs in order to stay out of my emails…needless to say, my delusions of grandeur were due to be debunked at some point…that point was last thursday. after several un-funny exchanges (”i don’t really take requests” — “you gotta cater to the people, you’re a business man right?!” — “yes, enough of a business man to know that you are not paying me at the end of the night”) 2:00 am rolled around and i started to pack up.

so………i’m packing up (my records, slipmats and needles are off of the turntables, rca cables in hand, computer closed) and a young woman comes up to me.

her: are you gonna play some hip hop?
me: am i or did i?
her: are you?
me: i did, i’m done for the night
her: well you didn’t really play hip hop
me: i didn’t?
her: you played…”hip hop mix,” you know, it wasn’t really hip hop
me: i hear you…it was fake right?
her: yeah, NO..um, you know what i mean, can you just play one hip hop song?
me: i’m done for the night
her: really? can’t you just play one more?
me: do you see the audio cables in my hand?
her: can you plug them back in? come on, it’s my birthday, i’m 21, i can drink!
me: happy birthday and no
her: why not?
me: when you wake up with a headache you’ll understand why not

(then her friend comes over)
friend: come on, can’t you play some hip hop? it’s her 21st bday!
me to 1st girl: tell your friend what’s up
(she says something to her friend)
friend: come on, just play one song!
me to 1st girl: explain to her about the cables
friend: come on, were from india!
me: india!? oh i’m totally doing it now!
1st girl: ok, now you’re being mean
friend: come on it’s her 21st bday!
me: it’s her birthday?! i can’t believe it…oh yes i can, because you just said that
1st girl: i know enough to know when you’re making fun of us
me: i hope so

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